GOODBYE 2019, HELLO 2020




So we're here, New Year's Eve. In a matter of hours, not just another year, but another decade will be upon us. I still feel slightly weird saying 2020, anyone else? No? Ok...

2019 has been quite the year. Full of ups, downs, new decisions and a growth in confidence for me, with the likes of my first job, setting myself free from friendships that weren't right for me, and deciding on a new path for my chosen career. So I've decided to share my year, and reflect on the events of 2019, and what I want to achieve during 2020. For the last time this year, sit back, relax, and let's reflect...

I started off 2019 in, what I'd say, a completely different position to what I am now. Back then I'd never earned my own money, was in friendships that I didn't feel comfortable in, and didn't feel like I knew where I was going in life. 

A big decision I made at the beginning of the year was to start this blog. I was completely clueless as to what I was doing, had no idea where to go content wise, and didn't know how to actually get people to read what I decided to put out. However, it's turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made. Even though I've not grown as much as I would've liked and all of that, I've loved the process of coming up with an idea, word vomiting everything down, and then sharing and receiving the feedback I have. One of my goals for 2020, is that now I have more time to myself (because I've quit my job) is to take this a bit more seriously and potentially grow it to a stage that it could become a part time job. Dreaming big I know, but who knows what can happen. Also, on 4th January, it'll be exactly one year since I uploaded my first blog post, that is CRAZY. A whole year I've been doing this, and I hope for many more. I do want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read any of my posts, comment, like my Instagram pictures, and support me in general, it means a lot, (please stick around, pretty please...).

Alright so, moving to February where I applied (for the third time) to a part time job that I really wanted to get, so that I could finally start earning my own money. It was obviously a weekend job because of college commitments during the week. By now I'd applied to about 20 jobs (not even kidding), and I was yet to be successful. So I just thought what's the worst that could happen by applying again for somewhere, not thinking anything was going to happen. Then, a month later, out of the blue I get a call from them inviting me for an interview! Funny story, when I got the call, I was in college having lunch with my friend, by now we'd thought I hadn't got it seen as it had been a month since I applied. Oh how wrong we were. Middle of conversation, my phone rang, and obviously I gave it to my friend to answer thinking it was some random person trying to give me compensation for an accident I hadn't had. Lo and behold it was the job. Thank goodness my friend didn't answer the phone with some rude joke thinking it was a random person, that would've been a bit awkward. Anyway, I had the interview the same week, went well, they were impressed by my knowledge of the company, they asked me what to do if the changing room queue was busy, I felt like saying, "you tell them to shut up, be patient, or piss off". I didn't, yet isn't that what we all think? Long story short, I got the call to say I got the job, once again having lunch with my friend; weird full circle moment. The experience of having the responsibility of an actual job didn’t really affect me massively, apart from feeling I was walking on eggshells most of the time, and like I wanted to tell every customer to stop talking when they start their full life story while I’m serving them. Apart from all that, it was one of the best times, I finally had money that I earned myself (VERY satisfying), and I met the most amazing people, and friends that you could tell anything to, so it wasn’t all bad. 8 and a half months down the line, I've now left. It felt like the right decision. I ended up having no time to myself, becoming exhausted and frustrated. But I'm now thanking myself that I have time to put more effort into college, and into hobbies such as my blog. If I had a pound for every time some asked me "what are you going to do for money?" I'd wouldn't need to worry about money again. 

Something that happened during the whole job debacle, was ending a friendship that didn't work well with me. I don't want to make it such a massive deal, but these things are difficult. If you've read my 'What Friendship Is Really About' post, I talk briefly about this person (not mentioning names obvs), but it kind of happened suddenly. We'd been friends for about a year, I thought it was all great, one of the best things to ever happen, but we can never be sure what will happen. We just stopped talking all together, went to different colleges, I've not actually seen them in over a year. But that's ok, letting go of something that doesn't give you any joy or happiness needs to be something we do more of. It's easier said than done, but when it is done, you'll feel ten times happier, believe me. After this all happened, my happiness grew massively, it sounds bad, but it did, and I'm so happy what happened, happened. Be selfish for once, do what makes you happy, not everyone else. Look at me being all motivational...and to end this part, if the person I’m talking about is reading this...BYE.

I’m not going to go into the uni topic too much here because I explained a lot about it in my previous post, so I’d recommended checking that one out, however that is another mahoosive life decision I made this year. To sum up what I said in my previous post, I didn’t want to go to uni, now I am, brief enough for ya? No, but seriously, I feel like it’s the only way to get into my dream career. Which I know your all on the edge of your seats desperately wanting me to reveal what it is, so...TV presenter/journalist/broadcaster etc. I know, bet you weren’t expecting that one eh. It’s not your generic career idea, but it’s what I want, and I’ve always said, you get one life, live it. So I am. I kind of what to be a Emma Willis, Holly Willoughby, and Stacey Dooley hybrid. For you readers who aren’t familiar with these people, or who aren’t from the UK, they are well know TV presenters/journalists who present quite high profile shows. ‘This Morning’ is a big dream for me to present (daytime UK show), but we’ll see what happens. I’ve just realised I’ve not actually said what I’ll be doing at uni (soz about that), I’ll be doing a journalism course, full time, and for 3 years. I’ve been to the uni a few times now, and I feel like this is the right decision (I hope), well, we’ll soon find out...p.s. get ready for a whole load of uni posts coming your way soon.

So that was my year. I wouldn't say I'm sad to leave it behind, but also I wouldn't say that I'm glad, it's a bitter sweet moment. I'm intrigued and excited to see what 2020, and the new decade has in store, yet 2019 had some major events of its own. I know this'll sound cliche, but at the end of every year, I like to reflect and remember how much I've changed and how far I've come from the start of the year. So right now, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whether you're at home glued to the sofa, at work bored out your mind, or on public transport slyly trying to avoid eye contact with everyone, take this moment to reflect. Put your phone down (after you've read this post obvs), turn your TV off, sneak out of the office for 5 minutes, and take a moment to remember how far you've come. It really doesn't matter if you didn't achieve everything that you wanted to this year, because you have a whole new year to make whatever you want happen.

To round this (slightly long) post off, I want to say that I hope you have an amazing and safe new year, and that 2020 brings you everything you want and more!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020!

Until next year...(how many of these jokes are we going to here for the next few days)

3 comments

  1. I'm glad you are happy with your new blog. I've been blogging for several years now and really love it. Sounds like you have picked a direction and cleared the way, friends come and friends go, the thing about friends is we get to pick them, we just have to make sure we pick the ones who are right for us.
    I wish you the best in this New Year!

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  2. sounds like 2019 was a good one for improvements, heres to 2020 continuing with the trend and good luck to another year blogging! :)

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